Buckle Up Buttercup

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

Proverbs 17:22

Ahh, the joys of being introverted.  Lucky for you, if you live in society, you get pushed to your limits nearly everyday.  Some evenings, you can’t wait to go home  and crawl into bed, grab a book, and not leave your diligently concocted blanket cocoon until the next morning. You’ve been dealing with people all day long. You’re stressed out, and you can feel yourself exhibiting signs of crankiness, yet, you know in the back of your mind that you need to make one more stop at the grocery store for the few things that you have been putting off buying and you know that if you don’t get them now, you are not going to have anything to eat at your house. You contemplate going home anyway and ordering pizza because you can do it online now, pizza is good for every meal,  and the only person you will have to see is the delivery person and usually they don’t really want to talk anyway. Alas, you’ve had pizza three times this week and you don’t know if your stomach can handle one more drop of tomato sauce so you decide to just grin (grit?) and bear it. The store it is. But, before you even get out of your car, you are giving yourself a pep talk. “It’s not these peoples fault that I am in a bad mood so I am going to walk in there with a smile on my face and with all the patience I can muster because that is what Jesus would want me to do. Lord, help me.”

I’m speaking from experience when I say that there is nothing worse than a christian with a bad attitude. If you’re one of those cranky christians, then I am telling you right now that it’s not okay. I think I have said it before, but, christians should be the happiest people on earth. We have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. Even more than that, we have a hope that many others don’t have. Sometimes, we let ourselves get in the way of being Christ like. (For those of you who don’t know, Christians were first called ‘Christians’ in Antioch. It was meant as a slur. It literally translate to Christ Like. When christians heard it, they were happy to be called so, because that’s what they were aiming for. Acts 11:26) We are so consumed with our own feelings that we don’t think about the vibe that we are sending out to others. Well, suck it up buttercup. Things could be a lot worse off than just having to run into the store for a moment. Take a few deep breaths and remember…happy thoughts make for happy people.

Here is a link to an article that gives 6 Tips to Help Introverts Thrive. Maybe with these, you can make your life slightly less miserable.

 

I’m not mad, that’s just my face.

“And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we command you;”

1 Thessalonians 4:11 KJV

I was once informed that I came off as arrogant and closed off to people who didn’t know me. The individual who decided to let me know (my dad – who is pretty extroverted) told me that he knew I wasn’t like that but I put out a vibe when I was in a public place. That is the last thing that I want anyone to think. So, while it seemed a little harsh, I guess it really was something that I needed to know. As an introvert, I get asked if I am okay…a lot.

What people need to understand, at least in my case, is that if I go silent or don’t add to the conversation, it’s not because I am in a bad mood or because I am arrogant. I am literally  just taking things in. I like to listen. It doesn’t hurt my feelings to be on the outside of the conversation and just because I am not verbally contributing, doesn’t mean I am not a part of what’s going on around me. I am a thinker (or at least I like to think I am). I found an article in The Atlantic that seemed to sum being an introvert up.

But, as I said before, being arrogant, rude, or closed off is the last thing I want someone to think of me. It’s definitely not  a good testimony. That’s something I obviously need to work on. Maybe I will try to smile at all times or make a hat that informs those around me that I’m introverted and not just angry. I’ll think about it.

Please keep hands, feet, and other objects in the bubble at all times.

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.”

Matthew 7:12 KJV

 Let’s talk about personal space. I, as an American, have a personal bubble with a radius that is about twice as wide as someone in  other countries. I, as an introvert, have a personal bubble with a radius about twice as wide as an extroverted American with unfortunate body odor. I don’t really liked to be touched, and being in close proximity to others makes me uncomfortable. I don’t voluntarily touch anyone above the age of 4, and I touch them only because they are just so darn cute (usually). Don’t get me wrong, a (brief) handshake is polite in some situations but those are the times when I just wait for the other party to instigate said handshake. I’m not exactly sure why I don’t like to be touched but I once heard it described that, to be polite, an extrovert takes a step forward and, to be polite, an introvert takes a step back. I found an illustration at mamamia.com that I think is pretty spot on. I don’t like people to be all up in my business and I tend to employ the golden rule of “do unto others” when I’m not sure how to behave.

I’m afraid that sometimes I come off as rude to those who don’t know me well and that is the last thing I want. There are several people (most of whom would be considered senior citizens) that for some reason (probably because I am so awesome) have taken quite a shine to me (or maybe it’s because I use phrases like “taken a shine to”). I don’t know what it is about their generation but they seem to be more touchy then people my own age. They give me a hug when they see me, or they put their arm over my shoulder, or (Lord help me) they kiss my cheek. Because I don’t  want to be disrespectful or hurt their feelings, I would never tell them that it makes me soooo uncomfortable. I think that is the way it should be. Them touching me is their way of showing that they care about me and who am I to shun that? Don’t get me wrong, I will never be the person to make the first move but if I am going to comply with the golden rule, then I have to be willing to let others to do so as well. People need to be aware that their thoughts and feelings are not always mirrored in the people around them and just because I don’t like to be touched doesn’t mean that they don’t. Everyone is going to do things differently. If that means I have to put up with a kiss on the cheek in order to make someone else happy, then so be it. For me, it’s better to have touchy friends than no friends at all.

Silent Night

 

“Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.”

Proverbs 17:28 KJV

If there is one thing that annoys me more than almost anything else, it’s small talk. Rarely have I encountered anything as useless as a conversation made up of small talk. I don’t understand why people feel the need to fill a perfectly good moment of silence with inane prattle. If someone were to come up to me and begin speaking I would hope that : A) they broke the silence because they had something interesting to say, B) they don’t try to keep a sinking conversation afloat (say what you need to and then just walk away), and C) if they want to hold a conversation based on small talk then they came prepared to hold up much more than just their share of the conversation. Don’t get me wrong, a stimulating conversation can be good for the soul but if the whole exchange consists of things like, “how’s school?”, “how’s your family?”, “What’s Bubba been up to?” then I’ll pass. Thanks, anyway. I may feel this way because I’m an introvert but maybe it’s just because I’m me. (Sorry for the ranting.)

It seems like the world is addicted to constant stimulation. There is no room for silence or deep thinking. People are constantly listening to music, the TV, their friends,  Youtube…etc. They never stop and enjoy the calm quietness. There is a TED Talk in which Susan Cain speaks about being an introvert and how she forced herself to exhibit extroverted tendencies when really she would have rather curled up in a corner to read a book (I felt like she was describing me). If you have ever researched introverts and extroverts, you probably know that the reason we are the way we are is because of how our brains translate stimulation. Where an extrovert needs constant outside stimulation (loud music, people to talk too, funny cat videos, TVs blaring in the background) an introvert is basically the opposite. Introverts are always stimulated. I don’t need the TV as background noise, I think better in silence. I am very rarely ever bored and  I have no problem concentrating on one thing at a time if I put my mind to it. Having too many things going on at once is almost like an overload to my senses. If the music is too loud or someone is talking about nothing (I’m talkin’ about you small talkers) it eventually starts to get on my nerves. I can’t think and I feel tense. It’s uncomfortable.

In the video, Susan Cain  made the statement that introverts needed to learn how to work in groups because it is a skill that everyone needs to have but she also said that extroverts needed to learn to utilize a quiet moment to get into their own heads because that is when we do our best out-of-the-box thinking. And I agree with her. While it’s very important to practice your social skills so that you can cope in everyday life, it’s just as important to have some alone time every now and then to get into your own head. You may not need as much quiet time as I do, but I have to think that you will find that a little thinking never hurt anyone.

Knock Knock. Who’s There?

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

1 Timothy 4:12 KJV

I am by no means a closet introvert. Unfortunately, my introverted tendencies have been pointed out on several different occasions and surprisingly, it’s usually by strangers. Extroverted ones. I guess it is a vibe that I give off, kind of like an odor that warns people that “I don’t really want to talk to you and any conversation you try to start will quickly become an awkward unbearable moment of silence”. I am not proud of this. I actually thought that I could handle myself in polite society at a fairly normal standard. Apparently, I need to work on my socialization skills a little more.

I get the feeling that when some people think of introverts, they think of someone who can’t handle any kind of social interaction. Their mind goes immediately to the extreme end of the spectrum which might be a reclusive hermit that lives in the wilds of Alaska and the  only  human contact they have is when they meet the helicopter pilot that flew in the last shipment of dry goods that will last them for the rest of the year. But really, it’s not even like that. At least not for me. I am perfectly able to handle myself in any social setting (or at least I thought I could). After much practice (and some deep breathing exercises…kidding) I don’t even feel that anxious when I leave home. I can hold a conversation with almost anyone (I say ‘almost’ because some people don’t give any kind of discussion to build on) and I can do so with a smile on my face and with little to no emotional scarring. Truly, the only difference between an extrovert and an introvert is that, an extrovert thrives in the middle of a crowd and feels better when they are surrounded by people, whereas I, an introvert, would almost pay to not be there. I don’t need human interaction to feel stimulated, I actually avoid it at times. I value silence like I value chocolate chip cookies. Any day that I can avoid talking to others is usually a good day.

If I am not careful, though, I let myself become so wrapped up in ‘me’ and how ‘I feel’ with my craving for solitude that I forget that the “don’t talk to anyone” thing I have going on is not a good testimony for Jesus. Christians should be the happiest people on earth no matter what the situation is and if I am going to be an “example of the believers”, then I have to get over my desire for total privacy. You can’t be an example if you refuse to be seen in public. So, at times when I feel that talking to one more person is more than I can handle that day, I just have to suck it up. I can get through this and everything is going to be alright. As long as you don’t make anyone cry, you’re good. If all else fails, just tell a few knock knock jokes to help buy yourself some time to come up with some snazzy conversational pieces. Here is a link that you might appreciate. Knock Knock Jokes

Think Before You Speak. It’s better for everyone that way.

“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.”

         -Proverbs 29:11 KJV

Welp, this is my first ever blog post and if I am being honest, I don’t have very much experience with blogs in general. I don’t make a habit of reading about non-fictional characters if I can help it, other than the ones found in the Bible of course. And I guess in my mind I see blogs as  just a bunch of life experiences that get posted on the internet to inspire/shame/rant/rave/share about something that has happened in a strangers life that for some reason they feel the people around them would enjoy hearing about. I am not one of those people.

I should probably start out by saying that I am by no means a psychologist or a behaviorist or anything like that. Whatever I write is based purely on myself and how I think and, Lord help us, how I feel (*insert cringe and the sound of gagging).

I am an introvert (hence the name of the blog). As an introvert, I don’t make it a habit to seek out and talk to other introverts, both for my benefit as well as their’s, so what I write (type?) is not necessarily true for any other introverts you may know. That’s my disclaimer. This is a blog that was created to discuss what goes through my head on a daily basis. These are the Contemplations of an introvert.

One thing that has been said about me several times through out my life  is that I am shy and that I don’t speak up enough. I don’t really think that this is accurate. I’m not shy. It’s just that all the extroverts out there speak up enough for the rest of us. I try to chose what I say deliberately and carefully and sometimes that can take a moment or two.  Then,  by the time I finally decide that it’s okay to say something, the moment has past and the topic has changed and it would’t make sense to say what was on my mind. When I am around people that I know very well, like my family, I monitor my words a little less and can therefore be myself. I can be pretty sarcastic at times and I understand that not everyone in the world appreciates sarcasm (we try not to associate with those people <—that was sarcasm). In my mind, there is no joke funny enough, that it’s worth hurting someone’s feelings. Not only is that a poor testimony for Christ but it also defeats the purpose of a joke.  Abraham Lincoln once said, (oh gees, it’s turning into one of those blogs) “It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to speak out and remove all doubt”.

I can’t say that all introverts are quiet because they are meticulously choosing the right words but you also can’t say that all introverts are quiet because the don’t know how to act in a room full of people. According to the the Huffington Post there are several introverts who lived life in the eyes of the public, some of them being Abraham Lincoln, Roy Rogers, Audrey Hepburn, and Albert Einstein.

Basically what I’m getting at is, sometimes keeping your mouth shut is the best/right thing to do and while others may think you’re quiet because you’re introverted (yeah, right) you’ll know that you’re quiet because you’re trying to be what you should be. Or maybe you’re just quiet. Whatever floats your boat.